For the past three years or so, I’ve flirted with running a bit. Here and there, on the weekends. Initially to prevent myself from yelling at my father in high school and beat away some rage (so I have this thing against beating pillows. I like the feathers INSIDE), running became a go-to for stress relief my senior year. There was a mile-long stretch behind my house that gradually ascended to a massive water tank at the edge of highway 50.

When I moved to New York, I ran occasionally. Running in Central Park was nice but at times pretentious. I mean, I was running with people who sailed ten miles or so for laughs. Who walked around with futuristic goggles because that’s how fast they went (apparently). AND THEN there was the walk back to my apartment, covered in sweat, shirt and shorts conforming to every curve and a construction worker isn’t going to pass that up. Hell no, he’s going to whistle and harass with everything he’s got. Awesome.

While in New York, my running moved indoors. On the treadmill.

In the past year or so I’ve dropped it, than picked it up again, than forgot about it, than remembered “Hey… that thing I used to do that made me move faster. Maybe I should get into that again.”

But last month, for a birthday present, I received some new running shoes. And now I cannot stop. I’ve geeked out on running my friends. I pick up fitness magazines. I read research on training techniques. I look up half-marathon dates and spend hours creating playlists to complement the perfect run. I browse sporting good stores.

I browse sporting good stores. God damn.

At any rate, my future now incorporates the following: A master’s degree at a college with a huge green that I can run around. A string of vacations organized around major marathons. Adopting a Siberian husky that can keep up with my stride. Finding a man with calves just as sexy as mine.

Horizontal Inspiration. That’s what its all about.

My other shoes, by the way, are going here: http://shoe4africa.org/sendshoes.htm

Now if you’ll pardon me, I need to discuss Freud’s theory of the “uncanny,” attend a critical theory class, blah blah blah… and RUN INTERVALS!!!!! Yes.